Stinky and Dirty

Not so long ago, I used to watch whatever I wanted on our t.v. Even as recently as after Liam was born, I would spend hours every day on our couch, nursing this boy who never wanted to detach, even when he slept. I binged all 8 seasons of Homeland during that time - mostly on mute with closed captioning, but my choice, all the same.

Those days are long gone.

I’m not going to say exactly how much t.v my toddler watches now, because I don’t want you to judge me. But let’s just say, he watches enough. And some of it is really good!

We like to sing songs with Ms Rachel and learn about tractors from Blippi. But my current personal favorite is The Stinky and Dirty Show.

It’s a cute, animated show set in Go City, where a garbage truck (Stinky) and a backhoe (Dirty) are best friends. They come across all sorts of problems they need to think about together and solve: “What if…”

Some children’s shows are fun, some are educational, some are kind of lame. Some are downright infuriating (we recently came across a show about wombats who have American accents and live in a tree - I am still livid!).

But The Stinky and Dirty Show contains something quite special - they are modeling a culture of profound respect. They treat each other better than in any other show I’ve come across so far. Under every action and reaction is an unrelenting optimism that believes the best in one another.

I’m learning a lot. And, I am happily encouraging my boy to sit and learn, too. Maybe we can create a home (and a world) where we honor one another as well as this garbage truck and backhoe do.

“So, here’s what I’m thinking…”

There’s lots to learn from this happy duo, but here are my main takeaways:

1. People are not the problem. In every episode there is a problem - anything from running out of gas (you can’t zoom without any vroom), to putting out a fire in the forest (come in Brave, we need your help). No matter who or what caused the problem, the problem is the problem, not any truck responsible for it. It is a show absent of blame! Dumper the dump truck lost all the bowling balls from the back of her truck, but the problem wasn’t Dumper, it was how to recover all the bowling balls. They consistently take the problem and set it in front of them to solve together. It is them versus the problem, not truck versus truck.

2. They are creative problem solvers. Each problem is clearly defined before they begin to think about it. And then, they stop and think about it! They take time to ponder and brainstorm. They draw pictures and imagine solutions, and follow even the craziest ideas to its most likely consequence. (What if…). They are logical and funny, but never made fun of for their far-fetched ideas. They encourage one another (Good idea Stinky, but…) and importantly, not once does a solution to a problem include punishment. When the problem is not the person, punishment is irrelevant (and by the way, ineffective anyway, ask any behavioral psychologist- or mother).

3. They call each other by the right name. This might be the sweetest and most profound part of the show. Their names match who they are. You already know Stinky and Dirty and Dumper, too. But others include Tall (a crane), Mighty (a tug boat), Jumpy (a stunt bike), Fast (a race car), Chill (an ice cream truck), and did you guess who Brave is? Right, a fire truck. Our names matter, and they give insight into who we are. Whether we use names or titles, pay attention to them, and use them correctly. They are part of our identity - something important to discover about ourselves, and also call out of one another.

4. They know who they are. Not only do they know their names, they know their function. They are all different with their own strengths and skills and limitations. The more they know themselves the better they can help each other and work together. Even the stationary buoys are important and need to be shaped just as they are to fulfill a super important task (Ding Ding).

5. They offer to help (and accept help). Stinky: "I know what you’re doing, you’re thinking - let me help, let me help!" Dirty: "SURE! Here’s what I’m thinking…" This simple, oft-repeated exchange is perhaps the hardest I have emulating in real life. It is a challenge to take notice of someone with a problem and offer to help them solve it. It is a challenge to have someone offer to help me… and then let them. These two trucks do this so well - Stinky doesn’t just butt in with his own solutions or agenda, he doesn’t criticize Dirty for having a problem in the first place, and he never throws shade or judgement or shame. And likewise, Dirty doesn’t ever push away an offer of help, he isn’t prideful or defensive. He brings Stinky up to speed on the problem and away they go.

Now, I know it’s just a kids show and not real life. I’m a grown up, and I know problems are complex and people are complex and there are exceptions to every rule. I know this. I know not every problem has a logical solution, I know not every problem even has a solution. I know all this. I really do.

But, what if…?